Post by UNKNOWN on Feb 2, 2005 20:09:30 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]HELLO IM LOOKING FOR ANSWERS. I DO NOT KNOW WHO AM I AM, BETTER YET I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM, MY MOTHER WILL NEVER LET ME GO THROUGH WITH SURGERY. WHEN I WAS ABOUT 5 I WAS PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK OUTSIDE WITH MY STEP DAD, BUT I DO NOT REMEMBER COMING HOME OR BEING FOUND. HE SAYS HE DOSENT KNOW WHERE HE FOUND ME. IM ALLWAYS HAVING THESE FEELINGS LIKE I DONT BELONG LIKE IM DIFFERENT. UP UNTIL I WAS ABOUT 14 I WOULD GET FLASHES OF SOMETHING RIGHT BEFORE IT WOULD HAPPEN, SOMETIMES SECONDS, SOMETIMES MONTHS. THEY WENT AWAY, AND THE DREAMS CAME, MY MOM CALL THEM DEVIL DREAMS, ITS LIKE IM SLEEP BUT I KNOW IM DREAMING, AND I TRY TO WAKE UP MY MIND WONT LET ME, ITS LIKE IM STUCK IN MY OWN HEAD, LIKE IM INPRISOND, LIKE IM TRAPPED IN A NIGHTMARE. THE MOST RESENT ONE WAS THE CLOSEST, I WAS STARRING AT MY HALLWAY IN MY HOUSE AND SUDDENLY A FIGURE IN A LONG HAT AND LONG COAT, BUT I CANT SEE ITS FACE NORE WHAT IT IS, ALL IT IS IS A SHADOW, WHEN I TRIED TO WAKE UP I COULDENT, MY EYES STARTED BLINKING FRANTICLY UNTIL I MY BODY JOLTED UP AND I WAS SWEATING, AND WHEN I LOOKED THE FIGURE WAS GONE. I OFTEN HAVE IMAGES IN MY HEAD OF WAR BUT THEY'RE NOT LIKE ANY OTHER WAR, THERE ARE DEMONDS AND THERE R ANGELS, AND IM OFTEN DRAW TO MAGICK THOUGH I DO NOT PRACTICE IT AND ANCIENT STUFF, AND ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH ANGELIC SYMBOLS ANGELS OR DEMONDS, I AM NOW 15, SOMEONE PLEASE HELP, I AM NOW 15, SOMEONE PLEASE EMAIL ME. Stargazer8x9@aol.com [/glow]